Insomnia, I have

Wooohooo…It’s 635am now and I am here blogging. I couldn’t sleep. Feeling stressed. What I have in mind is ‘You do this then do that. Tomorrow you can do this while do that. Very easy.’ I don’t think it is very easy. Of course the whole thing is not that hard but it is time consuming. Need much concerntration to make sure every little thing is done correctly. I think I can’t multitasks. I am mentally very tired. Said is so much easier than done. I am not a robot. People works from 830am to 5pm or from 930am to 6pm but I work from 830am to 7pm or 8pm. I don’t know how to say but I feel as if I want to run away. Every night when I reached home from work, I felt so tired and dinner time was over, I did not have the urge to eat anymore but I just need to force myself to still take at least something.

To be honest, I think the amount of tasks given to me is too much. I can’t take it all by myself. I can’t. I think the problems are mostly because I work alone. I work on the given tasks. I also need to work on the real time or immediate tasks of the day. I can’t concerntrate properly at all. Lots of interruptions. And the dateline is getting nearer yet, mostly depend on me. Nobody to share my burderns.

Have you ever seen or perhaps experienced it yourself that you have got the urge to eat something when you do not really feel hungry? So, you just went to the shop and bought a whole lot of food. When the food arrived, you did not feel like eating anymore but you just forced yourself to finished them all. By the time the last bit of food entered your mouth, you felt like as if you want to puke and of course you were bloated. No feeling of satisfaction regarding the food but felt like ‘Wow, what the heck that I was thinking and doing just now?!’ instead. Yeah, very well, very true, that’s ME !

Causeway Bay Hong Kong Restaurant

Causeway Bay Hong Kong Restaurant is located at Crown Tower Kuching. It serves Hong Kong style food. I think the food is so so but the environment is quite comfortable though. Tried the Cheese Baked Rice with Fish Fillet. Not too bad. The Hong Kong style milk tea is a little too thick for my liking. Oh ya, there is one more thing I would like to say. The waitress sent the wrong drink to me and later, sent the wrong food to me as well. Should they need more training? Heeheehee…

 

Lousy shop

Aarrggggg!!!!!!!! Anger is at my edge now!

@#%$^&%& !!!

Bought my SE K810i last month. The shop people promised to give me screen protector sticker free of charge and also wanted to give me free themes and songs. After one week as promised the sticker will arrive, the lady told me not arrived yet. So, now, a month later, I decided to check if the sticker arrived yet. The answer is, NOT YET!!! Well, that’s fine. So I let them saved the themes into my memory card for me. When I check it now at home, guess what? They did not give me free songs BUT the songs I put in by myself are all gone! ALL GONE!! The ‘Song folder’ gone!! What the heck! Anyway, I called up to screw that person already. What an dishonest seller. Better don’t buy anything from that shop. ‘esirpretne 26′ is really a lousy shop!

Touched

A: Erm…I cried myself to bed again last night.
B: Haiya, why you always feel sad? Later you get depression lar.
A: *sigh* You don’t know women are made of water?
What more to say I am an Aquarius woman!
B: You want me to help you revenge or not?
A: ……

Chatting with you really make me feel good. You speak my language. You laugh at my joke. You tell jokes. You cheer me up. I feel so touched because from the conversations I know you care for me. When I got bully, you always scold louder than me, and you sound angrier than me. You feel what I feel. Thank you. Hope that when you leave to pursue your dream, it’s also my time and my turning point to start a new life.

Published, unsent letter

It is one of those nights that I feel so low and this leads to having great potential of producing a long winded blog entry again. I choose to blog because this is the place where I blog about my whine and ranting to my heart’s content without getting interrupted. I need to ventilate my feelings. Therefore, I like to write. Sometimes I blog about issues which are not meant to be written for public to view but I can’t be bothered. What I need is to speak up my mind. People who know me know about it otherwise not and I am not going to explain any further. Apart from my work laden weekdays, it is all about the past that makes me feel so low right now. I dislike this kind of feeling. It makes me moody.How I sometimes wish that we are just friends. At least when I spilt my sorrows or released my anger, you did not understand I could still forgive you whole-heartedly with the reason you knew nothing about my situation at all. But now I assume you are having half your foot in my shoe. I assume you understand a bit here and there. But to my disappointment, you are not. There is one thing that you always ask me to do whenever anger is at my edge or when I am feeling helpless. It really makes me feel pissed off. Make me wonder whether I am turning to the right person. I know I should not blame you for what so ever reason it is, after all you really don’t know much and you are just trying to be helpful by telling me what to do to solve the problem. But the sad truth is, it is not going to work and all I need is for you to listen to me and perhaps giving me some words of comfort.

Many moons ago, I did consider about that question already even before you asked me. I have been trying to take it as one of the options for my solution. But later, after you have asked me, I did reconsider about it again. Weighing the decision over and over again but the meter of the scale couldn’t give me the right reading yet. I am sure this makes you think that I am not bothered with your question. I wonder you still remember I did ask you a question one particular day, ‘mountain wants to adopt me?’ but seemed to me you didn’t get what I mean. So this matter considered being dumped into the deep blue sea without any chance of seeing a single ray again. You should ask me again after some times if you know me well that I am such an indecisive girl. Anyway, I am not crying over the spilt milk here. Please do not get me wrong because if you ask me again now, my answer is still ‘I don’t know’, honestly.

Talking about that issue with you again just now was like digging out the old painful past which I did not wish to recall again. Now, I feel exactly how I felt again that time. The disappointment and sadness caused a deep scar which could not be easily healed. It was like putting salts on the wound again that’s why the pain prolongs. Sometimes I feel that there is no word to describe my feelings anymore. It is either I am running out of words or I am running away from reality. I do not have the courage to be brave and confident anymore. In fact, I do not know what I should do. I really hope that GOD will make me a way soon and the sun will rise again soon. I have had enough of all these.